These few weeks have been a rather emotional one for me. I thought I was very good at keeping my coolness but I was wrong. It seemed like I had a lot of pent up frustrations and grievances that I am trying so hard to hide and mask it all.
My boss was asking me how things are liked and before that I had told myself to be strong and phrase my sentences correctly and carefully. However, I go so caught up with pouring out my displeasure at work such that I used wrong words. I hate myself for getting so overwhelmed so easily. Words when are not used carefully can be as sharp as a knife!
I see success as being happy at work and this means getting satisfaction and enjoying the work I do. However, this doesn’t seem to be the case. Therefore, I engage in lots of mini activities after work in hoping to mitigate my unhappiness in work. This helped a lot and I am pretty glad that those small activities make me a slightly happier person. However, happier isn’t enough! And then the whole vicious cycle of me being unhappy starts all over and over again.
Yesterday, the moody me just resurfaced again. I told myself that I am not going to wallow in self pity and perhaps I just need to correct this stupid habit of bringing in unhappiness to myself. I shall (hopefully) start a day with a smile. Plan my activities and list down the task I hope to achieve for the day. The usual saying always goes like this, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. Changing attitude is probably all I will ever need. “if I plan to be happy, I will be happy” Comparing myself to many other people other there, i am grateful for what i have now!
I promise to use my time to do productive work and not be unhappy. Changing the frown to a smile isn’t that all difficult right?
Sidenotes:
Received an e-mail today and got so delighted! It has been awhile since I am so excited about something.
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